


Even Under Strain

by pseudobulbarism (killewich)



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Batman: The Telltale Series (Video Game)
Genre: Canon-Typical Behavior, Game: Batman: The Enemy Within, M/M, Mental Instability, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Third Person, Post-The Enemy Within, Pseudobulbar!Joker, Slow Burn, Vigilante Route (Telltale)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-06
Updated: 2020-02-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:06:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22591474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killewich/pseuds/pseudobulbarism
Summary: "We're two threads in the same stitch, bound together... even under strain."
Relationships: Joker (DCU)/Bruce Wayne
Comments: 5
Kudos: 19





	Even Under Strain

**Author's Note:**

> they're both unhealthy, extremely so. bruce wants to redeem himself and get better, but john? well, i guess we'll see ! !
> 
> intended to be a slowburn of the fallout of giving up batman and realizing just how far bruce had gone, not wanting to end up like his father or worse. john intends to work on how easily he can be swayed and be more self-aware instead of clinging onto things that only leave him, but how can he be self-aware if he doesn't know who he is?
> 
> it's going to be messy, for both of them.

It'd been a month since he'd given up Batman.

Bruce never expected the change to be easy, always trying to avoid change whenever he could. He was a creature of habit, so much so, that he almost caught himself putting on the suit several times out of pure instinct any time something came on the news and Alfred wasn't around. Once, he'd been caught on his way to the Batcave, and the look of betrayal he received was enough to never do it again.

He left the role of Batman to Tiffany, and under Alfred's new stipulations to continue any sort of crime-fighting going on under the roof he lived, everyone finally came to a compromise. It took weeks alone, and once it was all finalized, Bruce put the suit on for the last time to meet Gordon and deliver the news. The reappointed Commissioner is hardly surprised after what'd happened with Waller, and almost seems relieved in a way. However, he does bring Tiff with him. They come to the understanding that she would be taking on the role, with close supervision and guidance from Batman, but this would be the last time he would show himself in Gotham.

Bruce only wished that was the hardest part of this life-altering change.

While Alfred did raise the good point that Bruce Wayne could be a fine hero on his own skin, using Wayne Enterprises and leaving Tiffany to the job Bruce no longer could fill. There had been a time where Batman was good for Gotham, but after Waller, after Joker... No, he was no longer what the city needed.

That was a hard pill to swallow, and he struggled with it for weeks.

So used to the extra stimulation of two personas, all the crime investigations and field work getting his adrenaline running... In a gross way, it felt like giving up a drug. The withdrawal was impossible some nights, not used to actually being on a proper sleep schedule (this almost seemed to make Alfred happier than not needing to patch him up anymore) and having countless more hours on his hands. He had to find ways to deal with the idle hands or he would be back in the suit faster than any junkie back to their next fix.

Bruce finds himself spending much more time at the office, attending more meetings, events, and hell, even plans a few charity events of his own. The large change in his newfound interest in the company doesn't go unnoticed, but nobody made any comments past recognizing how nice it was to see him around more and how the board members appreciated him being easier to reach. He dumps almost all his time and energy into Wayne Enterprises, and it's a good enough distraction for a while.

Though, the itch for the Kevlar seems to only get worse the longer it goes on, and any comms with Tiff makes it even harder. She was still considered in training, but was blossoming more than he anticipated. It's nice to know Lucius's legacy was being carried on, and with that thought, he finds the need to be Batman laxes. The combat training gave him the adrenaline he so desperately needed, and any time she was stuck on a case, having the small amount of input to help subdued the urges. It finally was becoming easier.

But again, giving up Batman wasn't the hardest change in his new life.

With giving up the masked vigilante role, he had to admit that Batman had gone too far. That Batman had gone astray, and in turn, the man under the mask had too.

The hardest part of his new life was accepting the fact that John Doe had been _right_.

Bruce often thought about the man, even thought about visiting, but he wasn't sure if it was right, let alone what John would want.

Because, it was about what other people wanted, _not just him_.

Realizing how selfish and manipulative he'd been during the whole Agency fiasco never quite settled well with him after brought to his attention. It was easy enough to ignore while it was going on, the adrenaline of both his personas being wrapped up in it, reasoning everything away for 'the greater good of Gotham.' And, with that realization, he wondered just how deep that selfishness had gone, even before Waller stepped onto the scene. Perhaps his manipulative ways had gone on for much longer than he even knew, and it sickens him trying to stomach it.

Maybe giving up Batman wasn't good for just Gotham, but for Bruce Wayne as well.

He had a lot of relationships he needed to patch up after the whole fallout. Alfred was thankfully the easiest, and was due for his vacation in two days. Gordon was a little rough, but appreciated the new funding and equipment supplied by Wayne Enterprises. Selina never takes his calls, even changed her number.

That left one person, a person who was owed perhaps the biggest apology out of everyone: _John_. Not to mention, a token of appreciation to bring him to the realization and acceptance it took to give up his hero shtick as soon as Alfred had brought it up. He owed the man so much, but had no idea how to even begin. That relationship was somehow even messier than even trying anything with Selina, but at least having his calls ignored gave him the clear answer that she didn't want anything to do with him. With John? Well, he would only be able to find out one way.

He thinks it's still too early. Maybe for John, but mostly himself. He needs to do a lot to even hope to salvage anything, let alone ask for a second chance.

So, for the time being, he makes arrangements with Arkham Asylum, and puts a large sum of money into a program they wanted to fund (only after having it thoroughly investigated by Tiffany... some habits, he wouldn't be able to give up). It's hardly enough to ease his conscience at all, but it's a start. Even coming into contact with the building again was hard.

Before he knows it, another month passes, and the dust finally seems to settle. Tiff's made excellent progress, needing his aid less now (which in a way, was disappointing, but was equal parts relieving), Alfred's due to come back from his vacation in a week, and the city seems to be at a level he can tolerate enough to not feel the urge to enter the Batcave (which should really be renamed at this point, since it was effectively no longer in much use past Tiffany's occasional use of it).

He's had a lot of time on his hands, despite desperately trying to remain busy. It's harder to do now that he's only one person, and it's left time to find out who Bruce Wayne really was. It's uncomfortable, and he hates any time he finds himself staring blankly in the mirror. When he was divided in two, there was less time to do any self-evaluating, and when he'd answered John at the cafe back then that he didn't truly know himself, he'd meant it.

Somehow, he knows himself even less now.

Thinking about John again makes hot, nasty guilt pool in his stomach. It happens every time, which seems to happen more often lately. He can tell he's being avoidant on purpose now, and that's why he feels so awful every time he makes up some excuse to not visit him in Arkham. He'd been in the building three times since, and every time he couldn't find it in himself to give the man even a few minutes of all that time he had on his hands.

It wasn't right, but then again, when did he ever _truly_ treat John right?

Facing things without the suit he was so used to hiding under, the mask helping soothe his nerves and disguising most of his face... he didn't have the 'training wheels' anymore. It was difficult getting used to, having nothing to escape himself and be someone else. _Something else_.

Before he can let the train of thought ride out any longer, he pulls out his phone on a whim. He dials up the asylum, asks about how visitation worked, asks about the process and the hours, and finally asks if John Doe is allowed any of the details outlined to him. There's a hesitation to answer, and Bruce almost hangs up then and ditches it all there. Adrenaline no longer carrying him through the conversation, nervous anticipation chokes him as if he'd just asked how to skin a person. The operator informs him he'd need to be transferred, and puts him on hold.

It's the longest three minutes of his life, and his finger hovers the 'end call' button the entire time.

Finally, a familiar voice that he's not heard in a long time answers, "Dr. Leland, who's speaking?" She's curt, sounds busy.

_ Last chance to hang up. _

"Uh, Bruce. Bruce Wayne."

There's a pause, and his stomach drops.

"Well, if it isn't. Hope you're doing well, I've heard you've been staying out of trouble lately." There's a hint to her tone that sounds like a mother would, and it feels comforting in an odd way.

He doesn't question it. Anything that makes this feel any easier is greatly appreciated. "Yeah, been busy. You know what they say about idle hands." He winces, hating it once it's said aloud.

Though, she laughs softly, and again, he feels comforted.

"So I've seen. I appreciate what Wayne Enterprises has done for Arkham." It's earnest. He's calming down. "But, I'm assuming this isn't a business call?"

Right. _Right_ , he was transferred... so he had to ask again. _Shit_.

"Anything to help. I know it's been rough since everything started up last time... but, no, it isn't. I was asking if John Doe had visitation rights and was transferred. I take it you have my not so simple answer?"

"Not simple is a polite way to put it. I'm unsure if you visiting would be a very good thing or... a very bad thing, given the circumstances. Currently, he isn't allowed in the usual meeting area where we hold visitation. Even though I appreciate what all you've done for us, there are strict rules."

Almost too quickly, he cuts in, "Oh, no, I wouldn't ask to have any special rights, I'm not expecting that in the slightest. Sorry if it seemed I was trying to pay off any privileges."

He can almost hear the smile in her voice. "I appreciate the understanding." It doesn't last, however, "He doesn't exactly get visitors, but he did put you down as someone allowed to see him on his intake paperwork. You were actually... the only person put down. You were his emergency contact, again." 

Bruce isn't sure if he should feel relieved or even worse.

"Due to not anticipating visitors, he hasn't been given exact rules, past his current ones that keep him in his room unless directly supervised."

Oh, it's _definitely_ worse now. He remains quiet.

"However, I could set up a special protocol if you intend to visit. It's dire to his health you follow it exactly, if still interested."

He swallows the lump in his throat. He's made it this far. "I understand. I... yes, I'm still interested."

"Good. Give me a few days to assess what the best situation would be for all parties involved, and I'll call you back when we have an arrangement prepared."

"Thank you. I appreciate it, Doctor."

"I'll be in touch."

She hangs up first, and Bruce simply stares at his phone. Well, that went... better than anticipated.

Unfortunately, this was only the first step of many.

**Author's Note:**

> SORRY IT'S KINDA SHORT i just didn't wanna pad it up too much and wanted to set down the groundwork for the start of it all!!! i thought brevity would hold better for that to get us started U_U unsure on an update schedule for this, as a schedule kinda cramps my writing, but as long as there's interest i should update pretty steadily. if anything changes, we'll deal with it when we get there ! !
> 
> just so everyone knows, i'm still insanely new to the fandom ! ! here's some more about myself on my other work ( that i'm updating as i go ) if you wanna know where i'm at on content consumed and the likes: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22548166#work_endnotes  
> i'm doing this fic based off the decisions i'd made when i played and jogged my memory rewatching scenes, so it's clear i got the only happy ending for john post credits xD we'll get there next chapter tho ehehe
> 
> other than that, i hope everyone enjoys and is ready to strap in for a rocky ride :3c


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